40. My Sisters

So, I haven't blogged in ages, and I'm sorry but I just need to let things out right now.

I want to say that I have some of the most amazing friends ever.
Seriously. I don't know what I would do without them.
I know that even years from now, I will still be able to call them up to chat and chill with them.
They are my sisters and I love them so much.


This year has definitely been a rough one.
So many changes have taken place this year, some that have made me cry, scream and shout, but so many have resulted in unending laughter and tears streaming down our face [oh. and stronger abs. haha].
And for each change, my friends have been there for me. To listen to my tantrums and whines and also to cheer me up and make me feel better.
They are the people that I cherish.
They are the ones that teach me lessons that will definitely live longer than they will ever know.


I've had so many revelations occur because of them.
And I'm so glad that I have them to lean on and learn from.
I just can't wait for next year, our final year together in high school.
I can feel the bittersweetness mounting already and senior year hasn't even started yet! CRAZY.

But I know that we'll have tons of laughter and jokes and memories created in the next 11 months.




I love you sisters. You guys are the best.

39. Youth in Sacks

I was walking towards my next next class, looking around, seeing all these different faces passing me by [and you should know, I LOVE to people watch (: haha]. And as I'm walking along, I notice, not only kids my age, but also the teachers.

Have you ever taken the time to look and observe older people? Y'know..adults: moms, dads, grandparents, the old lady on the corner, the senior couple living in a finely decorated home, or even teachers at school? It's interesting 'cause you find out that they are just like us.

And by us, I mean like kids, teenagers, youth!



I mean, they WERE like us a couple years back...well..maybe 20-30 years back [haha]. They had friends, they went out, they partied, they made out with their boyfriends/girlfriends, they did rebellish things. They were just like us...or are we just like them?



Well, I got to thinking. And really, these adults that we don't normally like to associate ourselves with are just Version 3.5 of us. If you look carefully, they are just kids in adult bodies. Surround them with friends and they talked animatedly, waving their hands around, slipping in a few inside jokes, saying the most outrageous things that only friends could say to one another. I think it's fascinating how these versions of youth are a person's personality, just in a different body.




It's as if their personalities were just schlooooop!, plopped into different bodies. And these bodies are only temporary. They may be experiencing a few wrinkles here and there, some splotches of cellulite, and dark circles under their eyes, but in a couple years, they'll be Version 4 and have just a little bit more of those. Yet, they'd still have their personalities.







As I pondered upon this thought as I was walking from Pre-Cal to Orchestra, I thought: I really hope my personality doesn't change. I don't mind how my body may morph, how I will look like when I'm Esther Version 3.5 or 6.5, but all I want is for me to be the same person. I want to stay bubbly, confident, passionate for God, striving to do more and more, kind, thoughtful, and etc. All that I am (:


And I conclude by saying that we are all rumply sacks filled with our youth and that's how it's gonna be.

38. DUN DUN DUN

via flickr

I think it's come..again.

Heal me.

37. Ow

This is actually to relieve back pain..--
- credits to Google

---

I am currently enduring immense back pains.
They are reallly getting on my nerves.
The muscles near my shoulder blades, right in the middle of my back, are sooo twisted..ACKKK!

I'm in so much pain :((
I wish I had a personal masseuse so that I could just snap fingers and SHABLAM! there he is :)

tehee.
ow.. :(

36. ACK!

Exhibit A: The Awkward Hug
- iwakeupstrange on flickr

---

Yes. That was probably the awkwardest hug I've EVER EVER experienced.

Here's the scene:
Quiet classroom. Everyone working on their macs/doodling/chilling/watching videos. The usual.
Teacher click-clacking on the keyboard at her desk and consumed by papers and other photos.
Friend to the left is looking up bands in her AP mag and I am sitting at my computer, looking up random blogs.

Everything sounds fine and dandy right? WELL. WRONG. In the next couple of seconds, disaster will strike.


So, as I am editing my pictures and looking at blogs, this kid comes over and he's just standing there. I look up to see him hovering over me. I turn back around.

What's up? I ask.
Arms open. Stand up, he says.
Reluctantly, I did and he just motioned for a hug.


--
What am I to do? Just sit down and leave the boy hangin like that? HA! I wish.
Anyways. I gave him a hug.

Now, I'm very fine with hugs.
Actually, I love hugs! Absolutely adore them! :) BUT. This hug was not an enjoyable one.


So basically, he embraced me....for what felt like an hour.
Seriously. I was mortified inside.

Inside my head, blaring sirens were going off, I could feel the blush of embarrassment creep up my throat, rage was beginning to bubble up, and I almost slapped the guy.



Oh gosh. So bad.
And I yelled out in protest: SAAD, STOP! [in a slightly teasing voice..'cause I didn't want him to feel bad] but he wouldn't and kept saying it and eventually, I kinda yelled it out.


Well, there goes the peace in the classroom. I think about half the class turned to see me trying to escape his death grip and him, holding on awkwardly.






YEAH. It was NOT a great picture.
Gosh, I feel so mortified.



For all those out there, I don't care if you know me or not..






I AM NOT INTERESTED AT THE MOMENT.
Please, let me be. I just want to breeze through high school with no relationships or drama and such.

And I hate awkward situations like this...Gosh.
This totally bites.

35. A Beaut It Is

- Urban Outfitters

This is the Lomography Lubitel 166+ Twin Lens Camera.
I have just fallen in love with this camera.

It's such an eccentric piece, and from its description and the resulting picture, I really like its style.


Ahh...but sadly. It is QUITE out of my budget..
It retails for $350 at Urban Outfitters.
My goodness. I want this sooo bad!
I've very much fallen in love with it..[sigh]

If only it would go on sale...SOON! :)

---

- Google; Flickr

This was me a couple hours ago.
I take the SAT tomorrow.

God, bring me peace and assurance. I'm gonna need it Lord.



Wish me luck? :)
Toodle-loo.

34. Latest Obsession [1]

---

Since Tuesday, January 20, 2009, I have become verrry obsessed with orange juice.

And when I say very..ohhh. I mean VERRY obsessed.
It's almost to the point when I daydream about drinking orange juice.

It HAS happened.
But don't question my sanity :)


So, my beloved orange juice.
OJ, not to be associated with Simpson..., has become my favorite drinking beverage as of late, and we are very happy together :)
It quenches my [almost] every thirst, and is just SO sweeet! Like me.

HA. Joking.

But yes.
I have no idea why my tastebuds are craving for the sweet and tanginess of OJ.
I've always been in love with my apple juice, but I think now is the time for OJ to arise. bahahahaha.




Mmm..orange juice...I want some now...
Must go to grab my sweet OJ and take a swig!

33. L O V E

- noflickr

---

that four letter word..
it could break or mend a heart or two.

I've been reading 1 Corinthians and I ended up reading 1 Corinthians 13.
Now, many know that THIS chapter is the chapter of LOVE.
What love truly is, what love should be.


And I was reading...I began to think.




I don't really know WHAT love is.
Neither do I know how to express it...how to take care of it...

Reading 1 Corinthians 13 really made me think about LOVE in general.


I think I have a hard time expressing/showing love to other people because I wasn't exposed to showing love from my parents.

This has caused me to become frustrated at times because I want to show others that I love them, yettttt..all I do seems inadequate? As if it doesn't show the extent of my love for them?...Something like that..

I need to work on love. Loving other people. Even those that I don't necessarily like so much :)
I need to learn God's love 'cause His love is the perfect form of love.






I have no idea when I'll be able to love like He does, but I hope He'll show me one step at a time :)

32. Just A Second..

I have exactly 4 minutes...make that 3 before I have to go start studying.

Exam week is crazy. But at least tomorrow is a HALF DAY :))

Ohhh the joy half days bring :D
oh which reminds me...I have to go to some dance rehearsal for the school's asian club...we are going to be performing at a pep rally in february...--




Yeah.. I know. Ridonk.

Andddddd! I have to go pay for a month of driving stuff 'cause I'm about to be canceled..which would mean my permit would be canceled, which would mean I'd have to start driving school all over again!

Sheesh. Craziness.
Anyways.Toodles.
Off to study some more.

31. How Sweet It Was

"A dream is a wish your heart makes."
-Cinderella

I woke up from a great dream this morning :)
Well..what I thought was a great dream.


This dream was really surprising because I didn't think anyone I actually knew would be a part of it. Nor did I expect this certain person to be in it. I was totally caught off guard.

---

Okay. So here goes.

I was on a private island, alone in a little 2-story house. I had no idea why I was alone or why I was there, but I had this great sense of serenity and excitement [yeah..paradoxical, huh?]. Well, I wandered around the house, opening cabinets in the kitchen, turning on the TV, just dilly-dallying, and ended up on the balcony in my room.

Well, all of a sudden, as I was sitting and watching the sea, that person came and sat right next to me.

And we talked. We talked like before. We talked as if we were the best of friends and as if nothing had ever happened. It was great.

Towards the end of our conversation, and boy, did we say a lot!, the other person told and promised me the greatest promise ever.




I can't actually say on here 'cause I'm scared they will see and be like: wtfreak O_o

hahahaha. Ahhh but yeah.
I woke up with a smile on my face.
And I pray to God that the promise will be fulfilled 'cause that would be amazing.



But, as I think about it, I feel really sad. What if it doesn't?..

30. A Curious Case of a Millionaire

SOOOOOOOOOO.
It's the week before exams...and I haven't really done much. --
haha..I am so screwed. ACK! butttttttt.

I have been watching some gooooood movies lately x)

Actually, I finished watching The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and WOW.
That was just WOW. Drop-dead WOW. Amazingly WOW.


Totally WOW.

I can't really pinpoint WHAT exactly drew me into it. Maybe it was the period the movie was shot in, maybe it was the story itself, maybe it was because of Brad Pitt's hotness [noo...I actually won't stoop THAT low...but I must admit..he was/is[?] a verrrrrry cute man. bahahaha]. But wow. That movie just left me breathless.

OH! The actors and actresses in the movie were absolutely amazing. They did such an awesome job portraying the characters' emotions and lives. The build up of it was great too..[haha. I sound like I'm trying to be all movie critic-ish. lolol]. I was so drawn in that I didn't even work on an extra credit assignment [which I didn't do. hahaha. it would've only raised my grade up by a point. and it may sound like a lot but I don't really care right now.. x)].


Ah yesss. It was a great 3 hours spent :)

---

Ummmmm. I also started watching Slumdog Millionaire.



"THE CINEMATOGRAPHY IS AMAZING." - THE Saad Nabeel

And yes, it is! It's extraordinary! I mean...wow. I knew I'd like the movie since the first minute of watching.


That usually doesn't happen to me. Ever.
But man...I can't wait to watch the rest of it. It looks soo good and plus, the plot [which I read before watching] seems pretty intense. So..good stuff :)

Muehehehe.

---

Ack. This week has been a bit crazy.
It was the week back from Christmas break and IHOP..
Insane to get back into school mode again. Haha.

BUT! I'm still enduring.
Ermsss..yeah. For the most part I am. But because I'm sleeping later than usual [and because my body has, somehow, gotten used to having to sleep for 7 hours], I've been waking up late.

Which means I haven't had much time for morning QT. And I like doing my QTs in the morning because I'll remember the message throughout the day. Ahhh..but it's been hard to do that this week :(
No worries though! I'll pull through :)
...With the help of Jesus. FOSHO :D

hahahahahahaha. progression of smilies:
:( -> :) -> :D
LOL...yes. I am a dork --




Hmm. Anyways.

It feels good to be blogging again x)
I've missed you blogggg<3
[hug]

29. In the Process Of

At the moment, I'm in the process of changing.

Ha! Oh boy. This year is gonna be a doozie. I can tell.


Yes. Well, the reason for this change is because of IHOP's One Thing conference.
I've attended this conference for the past 2 years and each has been fruitful so far. But, this year has really been the pivotal moment in my Christian walk.
So many things have happened...I wish I could tell you everything, butttttt....yeah. I already wrote it all in my diary and don't wanna go over it again..haha.
There's just WAYYY too much stuff to tell. Ack!

But yeah, after this IHOP retreat, I've decided on a few very important decisions.


I'm striving to read the Word every single day [3 chapters], keep up with my QT, pray a lot more, fast 2 days a week...yes.
It may seem like a lot.
It may sound a bit radical.
But I feel as if these choices will realllllly strengthen my walk with God.

It's so exciting :D
haha. ahhhh. but yes :)

I just pray that I may ENDURE. I need to endure. Because I've made all these choices, Satan's gonna attack me like none other, but in the name of Jesus, I can defeat him! :)

At times I will fail, but I have firm belief and hope that I will be able to persevere, to pick myself up and start again.




Wahhhhh. This year is gonna be exciting :)

Well...I'm excited. Haha.